Compound love squared
Everything I had asked God for seems right in front of my eyes, but I keep asking myself if he has not chosen the wrong person. Indeed, when I asked, I begged him a million times to send me a black man, single and no more than three years older than me and slender. He decided otherwise because he brought me this man almost ten years older, black but with a very light complexion, with a child and average height, on a silver plate. The only thing missing was that he was married to top it all off.
Not having had the chance to grow up with a father figure during my adolescence, would I have unconsciously developed an attraction for older men? Anyway, I’m still trying to figure out why.
I finally let myself be captivated by his exceptional charm. Probably his experience weighed heavily on the scale. Because when it comes to attention, he knows a thing or two. He listens to me and retains everything I say. Not to mention all the times he takes care of me. I sometimes wonder if it’s his true nature or his fatherly side that makes him so gentle.
Honestly, if I had met him in the street, I wouldn’t have even given him the time of day. Sometimes our ideals can deprive us of the beautiful things in this world.
Is it that I allow myself, for once, to live our pseudo “relationship” without questioning it to avoid spoiling everything. I have never felt so fulfilled and valued by a man. I think that’s what scares me. You know, after so many disappointments, we end up getting used to them, and when we meet a beautiful person, we find it so hard to believe that it can also happen to us, that we tend to put off this long-awaited and hoped-for happiness.
I’m not going to spoil the mood, but there’s still one thing I’ve noticed, and I wonder if it’s a shell or simply a part of him that shows me voluntarily so that I become aware that he’s so true and that, like everyone else, he has faults. I must say that I sometimes tend to let my inner capriciousness come out and this can sometimes be annoying.
Anyway, we are all getting our bearings in our respective territories, and if I trust my instincts, I’m off to live the story I’ve always wanted in the deepest part of my heart, but for which I never took the time to prepare myself. For, as I write, I am following the dream where this man who matched him met me in front of the town hall to swear fidelity to me.
Well, “good things come to those who wait”.
To all the future compound couples in love.